It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
