I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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