i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so let's talk penis.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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