8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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