rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
