my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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