A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
