they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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