What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
