i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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