At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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