yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just pee around me
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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