It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
