if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I seem to have left my pride at pride
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
