you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
