You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
