the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
