Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Let's get the cat blown out
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