Sponge bath it is.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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