he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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