I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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