party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
