Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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