You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
