You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
