I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Everyone says I win the strip club
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
