that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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