that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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