Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
