He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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