are you still at the devil's house?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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