How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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