i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
