So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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