I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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