it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
