You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
