I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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