I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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