she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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