Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
