so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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