he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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