Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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