i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
