man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
false alarm. still invincible.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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