I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Everyone says I win the strip club
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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