I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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