I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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