She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
