Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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