You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize