You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
