omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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