brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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