Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize