the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Randomize
