I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
