So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
