I'm so fucking centered right now
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize