Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Operation Purity has been aborted
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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