Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
