We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
