We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
